Journal Entry 6/12

DEPRESSED..... DEPRESSION.... IDK... I AM SAD TODAY.....

I cried for a minute... Then I unwinded... I KNOW THATS

NOT A WORD, BUT I TYPED IT!! Anywho.... Then I started

watching a thriller movie that had me locked in.... I am now

watching another movie.... I am back in my emotions

though... Idk what necessarily triggered this reaction.....

Weeeelll... Actually, I do know what triggered this... It has

been brewing.... Sooooo..... sighs.... I think I want a lil

pancake.... I just wish people where fucking nice and had

some type of damn compassion!!! Like why in the fuck are

people so damn toxic, bitter, broken, unhinged?? IDK

what's the correct term but why are so many people

so fucked up and don't want to heal?? And when I feel

that favor ain't fair but it now has me questioning God...

Like God, whats up?? Like do you actually hear me or

are you ignoring me Big Sandals?? sighs I honestly

don't get it though.... I'm so frustrated and exhausted

from begging... THIS IS A JUDGEMENT FREE ZONE!!

But Im tired of begging and sitting through frustration,

fuck, STRUGGLE.... Fuck being patient.... I have been

patient long enough... Im not built like the slaves..

They begged for damn near 300 years.... They

cried out to God and over 300 years later.... But come

to think of it.... We still haven't fully been.... Shit its been

some damn regression NO progression..... So I guess we

are actually still asking for freedom in a sense..... Well

look at that... Proved my point without having to think

too much about an example... The sense of being alone

I just am over it... But it is so much better than dealing

with someone annoying that you truly don't like or

found out is a prick... I'd rather maintain my peace

while Im on this journey to reach a certain level of

happiness and peace..... Its so much I desire for .....

Well actually its not a lot of desires.... But its a few

things I need and I want..... Its so much I feel like

I deserve and that I should already have.... Like

Bruh.... The Universe just said "fuck me, I hate ya".....

I just need a break.... Some thing.... Like frfr.....

Anyways..... I hope the pancakes bring me some

happiness and a little bit of peace......