Venting Session pt. 1

LIFE is LIFING!!!!

Life has been extremely stressful... I know everyone

is experiencing some type of hardship or experiencing

something that isn't easy to handle.... If you are lucky

enough to not experience any discomfort through

the journey of life right now in 2026 be grateful!!

However this is me being completely transparent

and completely open.... For those of you who feel

like I express too much then get the fuck off of my

platform... Don't read the ish I type and don't view

the sh*t that I post.... Any who, now that we have

cleared the room... Here is my venting session....

I feel extremely lost... I feel trapped... I feel helpless

and hopeless.... I know that I have been trying

hard to elevate and succeed.... I have tried many

many different avenues to move up but each time

doors are closed, rejection each time and suffering

occurs.... Sometimes giving up feels like the only

option BUT I can't.... When I was younger I used to

feel like each day I lived was another day of suffering.

I don't feel that exact way right now but some days I

truly feel that way.... I wonder if there are any people

that can relate to that feeling.... Like truthfully admit

that they feel or have felt that way..... I am lost because

I'm struggling to figure out if you have tried to do

everything possible-- but nothing has been successful.

what the heck do you do when everything you do and

try to do it still leaves you in the negative or in the same

position-- sh*t sometimes ish gets worse... I do take

accountability for some of my decisions.....

But DAMN!!! I need a break..... A peaceful break....

A breakthrough a few blessings..... Even a handout at

this point... Well a hand up.... I hate those but I'll accept

it.... I will continue to try but I am exhausted and drained

I am overwhelmed and stressed but I'm determined to

NOT giving up.... I am not a damn energized bunny....

I don't want no damn snicker and no I don't want an

energy drink!!! And another thing.... Why can't I meet

someone who doesn't need to be built up, fixed up,

put together? Why can't I meet someone who would

genuinely like me for me not for what they can gain or

benefit from -- using me sighs Why can't I meet someone

who is healed and will treat me as he would treat himself??

That's fairytale and wishful thinking.... I will live life

PEACEFULLY on my own.... I truly don't desire or care to

date anymore because its a waste of my time EVERY

time.... Nope I don't have a crush on anyone.... I have some

self improvement to do anyways..... I definitely need to

focus on myself....LOL!! I think I might be rambling

These damn intrusive thoughts done came out... SMH.

IDK what to do to get myself together and I truly think

about how to make my life better about 20 hours a day.

It explains why I am always drained. sighs* I am so tired

of thinking so damn much though..... my house reflects

my chaotic thoughts though-- that's a secret, don't y'all

tell anybody..... I still dk wtf to do to get my life together

though.... Leave feedback if you would like......

*OH and no please don't leave your feedback sir, I have

a lot I want to say but it isn't worth it... but you can

leave me alone though*